After 6 failed rounds of medicated/monitored cycles and one miscarriage, we met with our Dr. to talk about “next steps”. We had two options, IUI (intra-uterine insemination) or IVF (in-vitro fertilization). After talking about success rates and all pros and cons; Austin, myself, and the Dr. agreed that IVF would be our best option. We jumped on the IVF roller-coaster head first and let me tell you… it has been the craziest ride I have ever been on.
I do not want to go into too much detail about the IVF process itself. I want to talk about the things no one mentions about IVF. How it’s not just giving yourself injections for weeks upon weeks and then making a baby in a petri dish…. it is so much more than that. I want to talk about how the process is long and NOT guaranteed; it is not a “quick fix” for infertility. You get excited and hopeful with good news only to be let down and disappointed with the bad or unexpected news.
IVF does not give you a 100% chance of pregnancy. That’s right, one cycle is around $30k (in our case but it differs with each clinic) and you could potentially walk away not pregnant at the end of it. The chances of pregnancy depend on the age of a woman’s eggs and other factors particular to a couple. The percentage for success is greater for women under 35. For me, I have lots and lots of eggs but the quality is not great (thanks, PCOS). Leading into egg retrieval, I had to take stimulation shots for 11 days. Three shots a day to be exact. The purpose of the shots is to grow as many eggs as possible and to get as many eggs to a mature size as possible. When enough eggs have reached a mature size, they will take them out. Once it was time for the procedure I was so bloated and sore, I had a hard time walking. My ovaries were so “full” that they were touching. They were literally the size of softballs. After retrieval (where I am put under anesthesia while they take the eggs out) I was expecting to feel much better. I thought once the eggs are out I should go back to normal…. wow was I wrong. I ended up getting OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome). My abdominal cavity filled up with fluid and to this day that was the most painful thing I have ever been through. There was so much fluid that I gained 10lbs in a matter of 3 days. I could not hardly move or breathe from being in so much pain. I could not lay flat. I could not keep any food or fluids down for two days. My stomach was so distended, I literally looked 8 months pregnant. Each day the pain got a little better and finally after a week I was feeling normal again and all of the fluid had left my body (thanks Gatorade!).
After they retrieve the eggs they immediately put all of the mature eggs with the sperm in hopes to fertilize as many eggs as possible. The eggs/embryos are monitored for five to six days to watch growth and during the six days, it’s normal for some fall off and not make it. Six days after retrieval the nurse called with my results. They retrieved 34 eggs, 23 eggs were mature and fertilized, 15 embryos on day three, and by day six 2 embryos made it to the Blastocyst stage and were frozen. When I first heard the news that we only had two embabies make it, I was so let down and disappointed…. but I am learning to change the way I think during all of this and learning to have a more positive outlook (manifestation right?). There are so many women that end up with NONE and have to start the process over from scratch. So I am SO VERY THANKFUL for my two embabies and I pray so hard that one day they become our babies here on earth! Due to my OHSS we are doing a frozen transfer (transfer = putting the embryo back inside me) in order to give my body and ovaries time to “get back to normal”. I have about a 5 week waiting period between retrieval and transfer. Oh but don’t think I am just getting to relax… the shots continue ever.sinle.day. Only now I am taking shots to keep my ovaries quiet and basically shut them down, the complete opposite of what we were doing the past two weeks. On top of the shots, I am also wearing 4 estrogen patches a day (que crazy person, everyone pray for my husband) in order to prepare my uterus for a baby. 5 days before transfer I add in THE HUGE DREADED progesterone in oil shots, y’all they are huge! and if this cycle works and I do become pregnant I will take the progesterone shots every day for the first trimester (totally worth it).
On transfer day, Austin and myself, will get to watch the doctor place the embaby into my uterus, through ultrasound. I get to be a princess that day and lay on the couch doing nothing but Netflix and chilling. 10 days later (how the heck am I supposed to wait TEN. WHOLE. FREAKING. DAYS.) I go back into my clinic for my blood pregnancy test to see if the baby nestled in my uterus and got all cozy (aka to see if we are indeed pregnant).
Despite IVF being the toughest thing I have had to do mentally and physically, I am truly blessed to have this opportunity. Austin and I have learned so much during this process. I think my family and friends would say that they have learned a lot also. I have met some of the most amazing women along the way. There are so many warriors out there! The infertility community is so amazing and supportive. I never asked to be in this group but honestly I couldn’t imagine doing it alone.
Until next time…
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